this is a repost from two years ago (05/08/11). im posting it again cause its a way to honor my wonderful mother and cause its how i still feel. i cant say it any better this year than i did then. im wishing for all my friends that are moms a very happy mothers day!
i miss you soooo much. when you died my heart got all crumbled and tied up in a tight ball and i couldnt take in even a little breath of air. all my insides got filled up with sad and i made so much tears i could have got drown in them. but little by little the crumble got less cause of remembering all the good stuff about you. it was like the hurting got shrunk up just like that time i put that pretty red turtle neck sweater you knitted for me in the washer and dryer and it got shrunk up so small that it looked like it could fit a for real turtle. ha ha. now theres so much things that could make me think about you with happy thoughts just like last night when i opened the deck door to go and feed the critters and i got a big nose full of some really pretty smelling bushes. i dont know what that bush was but it got me thinking of you cause of how you loved flowers and had that really pretty flower garden. it gave me a smile and a really nice memory. that kind of stuff happens lots of times cause now i could let it and before i couldnt cause of so much hurt being in the way. i think youll be happy that the hurt got shrunk cause you couldnt want me to be so sad for the rest of my whole life. i talk to you lots and i know you could hear me and i hear you in my heart even if you cant say stuff back out loud. some day im gonna get to be with you and im real happy for that. but right now cause im just right here still on the earth im gonna keep on being just me and do all the good stuff you taught me how to do. oh and you could need to know i dont ever forget to brush my teeth at night and i always talk to god before i get off to sleep. you could be real proud of me and my brothers and my sister cause were taking real good care of each other just like you taught us and just like you could want us to do. i love you more than a zillion of your apple pies and that’s a real lot cause you know how much i loved those yummy pies. happy mothers day in heaven mom!