this is a repost from two years ago (05/08/11). im posting it again cause its a way to honor my wonderful mother and cause its how i still feel. i cant say it any better this year than i did then. im wishing for all my friends that are moms a very happy mothers day!
dear
mom
i
miss you soooo much. when you died my heart got all crumbled and tied up in a
tight ball and i couldnt take in even a little breath of air. all my insides
got filled up with sad and i made so much tears i could have got drown in them.
but little by little the crumble got less cause of remembering all the good
stuff about you. it was like the hurting got shrunk up just like that time i
put that pretty red turtle neck sweater you knitted for me in the washer and
dryer and it got shrunk up so small that it looked like it could fit a for real
turtle. ha ha. now theres so much things that could make me think about you
with happy thoughts just like last night when i opened the deck door to go and
feed the critters and i got a big nose full of some really pretty smelling
bushes. i dont know what that bush was but it got me thinking of you cause of
how you loved flowers and had that really pretty flower garden. it gave me a
smile and a really nice memory. that kind of stuff happens lots of times cause
now i could let it and before i couldnt cause of so much hurt being in the way.
i think youll be happy that the hurt got shrunk cause you couldnt want me to be
so sad for the rest of my whole life. i talk to you lots and i know you could
hear me and i hear you in my heart even if you cant say stuff back out loud.
some day im gonna get to be with you and im real happy for that. but right now
cause im just right here still on the earth im gonna keep on being just me and
do all the good stuff you taught me how to do. oh and you could need to know i
dont ever forget to brush my teeth at night and i always talk to god before i
get off to sleep. you could be real proud of me and my brothers and my sister
cause were taking real good care of each other just like you taught us and just
like you could want us to do. i love you more than a zillion of your apple pies
and that’s a real lot cause you know how much i loved those yummy pies. happy
mothers day in heaven mom!
Dearest Lenny - that is a reeeeeeal special post - I think it was about the time I first met you, two years ago, and we became blogging friends, and definitely more as we corresponded, especially as you related so well to my own mother: I'll always remember her smile when we talked about you, it lit her face up.
ReplyDeleteSo your writing here has brought tears to my eyes ... my thoughts are often with you ... and on this your Mother's Day - many blessings ahead in life .... your mother was a very wise, wonderful, warm and witty woman ... your blog post and your words say it all.
With big hugs from Hardwick, Muddy Hippo, Rocky, Zdena and I across the pond waves, with a big dose of sunshine to bask in ... Hilary
Dearest Lenny,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a beautiful gift to all of us mothers out here. Your post is specially for your Mom but guess what your heartfelt post is a reminder how special your Mom must have been, it gives us other moms a good feeling too. Your Mom must have been really really special to have a son like you. I am sure that your siblings are just as nice as you are.
Surely God gives us strength and comfort to shrink all our sorrow. When my siblings and I lost our Mom we were grown up people with our own kids, and still it hurt us like we were kids. Looking at your blog posts and reading them makes me stronger. I take inspirations from you to be a good human being as well.
You are a house hold name for my family now !Lots of blogger hugs from all of us. Mother day is not just for mothers. It is for our kids too. So give yourself a hug and a gift, even if it is small.
Lovely letter to your mom. I am glad the sadness has shrunk somewhat although you will always miss her.
ReplyDeleteJO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE
She'd be very proud of you, Lenny. And glad that your hurt continues to shrink.
ReplyDeleteReading this post each year on Mother's Day is turning into a really nice tradition.
ReplyDeleteIt's not only a touching tribute to your mother, but it makes me treasure more the time I spend with my own mother, and that's a wonderful gift.
Lots of hugs, Lenny.
What a sweet letter, Lenny. I know your mom would be glad that the hurt is shrinking even though it'll never go away. I can tell how awesome your mom was just from reading this letter. So glad you have so many special memories of her.
ReplyDeleteLenny, what a beautiful letter to your mom on Mother's Day. I'm glad that the pain has shrunk so that all the happy memories can shine through. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteYou have such a big heart, Lenny. This letter is so touching. Thank you for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteOh Lenny! She was so lucky to have you. And you here. (((HUGS))))
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful letter to your mom. Hugs to you Lenny!
ReplyDeleteI bet she was/is incredibly proud of you and your attitude and your strength and your love for others. You're a special person Lenny and that means she was too. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI remember this from last year, Lenny, but it's just as beautiful and touching now as it was then.
ReplyDeleteShe would be very proud of you and proud of how you and your siblings are taking care of each other. That's a way to honor her too.
Lenny, I wanted to come and read it again. You know why? Just because it's such a beautiful tribute to your mom. She's real proud of you. I love the way it makes me feel to read your letter. Thanks for posting it again. HUMONGOUS hugs to the coolest teen guy on this earth!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reposting Lenny. Losing my Nanny last month made me understand even more how you feel about your Mom and the hurt lessening.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom is looking down on you and is so proud of the young man you have become.
hug hug hug