YEP! its the "I RESOLVE..." time of year again. you know...the time we start out the new year with good intentions to change stuff about ourselves and be a way better person. its a nice thought... but...most resolutions end up in the trash. UGH!
ok...i know im being kinda gloomy. BUT...just look at the stats:
40 % of all americans make new year resolutions. but...only 8 % keep them. ACK!
SOOO...instead of making resolutions were probably not gonna keep and getting all frustrated when we dont... how about we just start the new year with some "I RESOLVE..." fun. heres 20 fun resolutions i found on the net that made me laugh. i hope they make you laugh too.
"I RESOLVE..."
1. I'm going to stop sending Facebook, text messages and emails to my loved ones when they are in the same room as I am.
2. I will use my treadmill for something other than a place to hang things.
3. I will not sit in the kitchen table in my PJs on my computer all day. Instead, I will move my computer to my bedroom.
4. I vow to never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. HA HA!
5. This year I will post a current picture of myself on the net and remove the ones from when I was younger and a lot more attractive.
6. I will actually laugh out loud when I type "LOL" to the person I'm messaging.
7. I will not hit "reply all" when I'm sending a private, personal message.
8. I will save water by taking less baths and showers and brushing my teeth less.
9. I will try to figure out why I need so many email addresses.
10. I resolve to work with neglected children - my own!
11. I will read the instructions BEFORE assembling - just as soon as I can find them.
12. I will start buying lottery tickets from a luckier store.
13. I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
14. I will play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for you and improve your visual skills.
15. I resolve to not see any serials or movies in which any dead characters are brought back to life.
16. I will not make up a cock-and-bull story to end a phone conversation I want to end.
17. I will stop hitting the "like" button just because I like the person who posted when I don't like what they posted.
18. I will not sit and stare at my computer screen all day. Instead, I will make it a point to stand and stare at the screen for at least 30 minutes.
19. I will stop snooping in people's bathroom cabinets when I'm over at their place.
20. I will actually make the cookies instead of eating all the batter.
i hope you got a laugh from these fun resolutions. what about you? do you have any funny resolutions?
...hugs from lenny
stats from: FORBES
Lots of blogger hugs to you Lenny. Those are good plans. LOL
ReplyDeleteLaxatives ? I would eat lots of fruits and vegetables. They are good for you! Check with the doc.
Happy New Year to you and your family.
Hi, Lenny. I enjoyed reading your post. I have a rebounder that I need to clear off so I can use it for exercising. I like the idea of trying to find ways to save water, but brushing my teeth less is NOT an option. Yuck! I've had everything for quite some time to bake some cookies, so I resolve to get them made this weekend.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year's, Lenny!
Thanks for the laughs, Lenny. I never make resolutions, but these are funny. Happy New Year! Hope it's a good year for you.
ReplyDeletePlaying video games ARE really good for you! But it is all right to eat all of the cookie dough now and then...
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I resolve put to not wood in our gas fireplace, no matter how cold it is...
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Lenny!
Great resolutions there! :D And I laughed at your LOL one. My friend and I decided to be more honest in our texts, so we used the initials of whatever it was that we were actually doing. Like: CQS (Chuckled Quietly to Self) or BJWL (Belly Jiggling While Laughing). We thought we were pretty funny. ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great new year!
HaHa. There are some good ones there. I've decided that since I don't stick with resolutions, I'm going for impossible ones. Why not reach for the sky? So I vow to grow 10 inches, lose 10 lbs, turn gorgeous, and become 25 years younger. Then I'll begin a career as a supermodel. I hear it pays well.
ReplyDeleteHappy, healthy new year, Lenny! xo
Those are awesome! I never make resolutions either - too much pressure! But I suppose I could resolve to make more cookies & laugh more often - think I can handle those! :) Happy new year Lenny - all the best to you and your family! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Lenny!
ReplyDeleteLove this list. And I'm actually standing as I type this, so I'm already doing good!
Happy New Year Lenny - just remembered your post .. before I dash off to London. I don't do resolutions ... but one I should remember is to 'do something now and not leave for later' .. I can do that easily - put it on one side til tomorrow - not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading these though .. I used to eat all the cake batter before the cake got in the oven - it was always reduced in size!
I can see a few useful ideas to start the New Year off with a clean up look on the net, and at home around the computer ... a clean slate looming.
Then number 4 - gosh that will take me some while to forget! Chaos ... and a good tv scene ....
Happy New Year - have a fun time in 2014 - cheers Hilary xoxox
Funny. No resolutions from me, as you say, I never kept them when I did make them.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Lenny hope it's a good one for you.
Ha, ha! SO FUNNY! Many of those are excellent resolutions. I especially like moving the computer to my bedroom where my PJs belong -- and GOSH, I wish other people would make the resolution about the Reply All thing. So very tired of people hitting Reply All so they can share "Great idea!" with every single person on the email list.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the picture on the side bar of The Eighth Day. I am so excited for it to come out! And by the way, that picture was taken in August 2013, so it IS my recent photo. (I already took away the younger, thinner one ...)
Hahaha, those are funny! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Lenny, and best wishes for an awesome 2014!!
ReplyDeleteHappy reading and writing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines
These are great!!!! I resolve to have more Lenny in my life in 2014 :) Miss you!
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious! And I actually found myself laughing out loud at some of them. I hope more people pay attention to the reply all idea- so many people are guilty of this! It jams up my inbox. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy 2014!
Jess