October 2021 Challenge
Inspiration: The Scream by Edward Munch
Words: 971 Comments welcome.
Eyes
The legend of Cornelia Thornheart, the witch of Coleville,
began on Halloween evening when someone or something strangled her in her bed. Her
haunting, emerald green eyes, at once beautiful and frightening, froze wide open
and she was buried with them staring at the top of her casket. An eerie green haze
surrounded her coffin as it was lowered into the ground.
…
Five years later,
early Halloween evening, Jess and a few of her friends sat swapping scary
stories at the local tavern. Trevor leaned forward and told the tale of
Cornelia Thornheart’s death. He lowered his voice and said, “Every Halloween night
her glowing, catlike green eyes appear in the second story window of her deserted
house, watching and waiting for someone to bewitch.”
Rachael said, “Her
house is locked up tight. Except for her bedroom, everything went to charity. Her
room, being a crime scene, was closed off and remains the same as the night she
died. The house is for sale, but there’ve never been any offers.”
“Because It’s haunted
by a green-eyed ghost. Whooo,” quipped Andrew.
Everyone laughed.
“I wouldn’t go in
that witch’s house or her bedroom for anything,” said Amy.
“Me either, I’d
faint if I saw her ghost,” added Rachael.
“Well,
I’m not afraid,” boasted Jess. “For enough money, I’d spend the night in her bedroom.”
Trevor threw
twenty dollars on the table. “You’re on! Anyone else?”
By the time
everyone chipped in, one hundred dollars lay on the table.
“Still up for it
Jess?” taunted Amy.
Jess uttered an emphatic, “Yes! How do I get
inside the house?”
Rachael said, “My
friend Ken is the realtor. I’ll get the key from him.”
“Great,” said
Trevor. “Okay, Jess. You spend the night in Cornelia’s bedroom and come out in
the morning, unless you chicken out, and the money’s yours.”
“No problem, my skeptical friends. I’ll
text you from the bedroom.”
Andrew raised his glass and said, “A toast. Here’s to avoiding a green-eyed ghost.” They laughed and clinked glasses.
…
At eleven
o’clock, Rachael unlocked the door. It creaked as she pushed it open. A musty
odor spilled into the air. “Night, Jess. Say hello to Cornelia for me.” She
giggled.
Jess laughed. “Very
funny. See you in the morning.”
Jess turned on her
flashlight, stepped into the house, pulled the door shut, and locked it. A stale
odor filled the air. She brushed aside the cobwebs, found the stairway, and made
her way to the second level. A faded yellow crime scene banner hung across the
door. She pulled it off, tossed it aside, pushed the door open and stepped in. “Geez,
this place smells like dirty socks,” she muttered.
She put her
backpack and sleeping bag on the floor and looked around. Against the far wall
stood an old four poster bed covered with a crumpled blue quilt. On the
opposite wall stood a six-drawer dresser with a grimy mirror above it. Several dried-out perfume bottles and a tarnished
silver comb and brush lay on the dresser. The faded curtains sagged. This
room will never make it into Better Homes and Gardens. She chuckled. Hoping
for some fresh air, she moved the curtain aside and tried to open the window. It
wouldn’t budge.
She pulled several
scented candles from her backpack, placed them on the dresser and lit them,
then wiped the grime from the mirror with a tissue. Pausing to look at her
reflection, she noticed her dark brown eyes looked like chestnuts in the flickering
candlelight.
She unrolled the
sleeping bag, stretched out, and texted her friends: In bedroom. CYT. She
drifted off to sleep listening to R&B music.
A chill woke her.
She sat up. An eerie green haze filled the air, the door slammed shut, and a
pair of glowing green eyes floated across the room and stared into her eyes.
Her mouth dropped
open. She gasped, screamed, leapt up, ran to the door, and fought with the knob.
It wouldn’t open. An icy hand grabbed her wrist and yanked it from the knob. She
shrieked. A cold hand covered her mouth while another grabbed a handful of hair
and yanked her head back.
Terrified, trembling, and struggling to
breathe, Jess fought back, pulled loose, and shoved the mist- shrouded entity
away. It grabbed her arms above the elbows and shook her like a rag doll. Jess screeched,
pulled her arms free, and clawed at the haze. She fought like a crazed animal, striking
out at her assailant with flailing arms and legs.
The entity
slipped behind her, clasped its icy hands around her neck in an Anaconda-like grip.
Red- faced, choking, and filled with a rush of adrenaline, Jess drove the
apparition backwards and rammed it against the dresser several times until it
released its grip.
They clinched and stumbled across the room. The ghost slammed her to the wooden floor and pounced on her. She yelped and shouted, “Get off of me, Cornelia, you’re dead!” They rolled, wrestling, punching, and kicking in a raging cat fight. Jess grunted, groaned, and used every ounce of her strength to fight off the evil spirit.
Then, it was over.
The icy mist and glowing green eyes were gone. Exhausted and gasping for air, she
struggled to her feet, staggered backwards to the edge of the bed, collapsed on
the quilt, and passed out.
She woke to the sun
pushing through the faded curtains, sat on the edge of the bed, yawned, rubbed
her eyes, and got up. She rolled the sleeping bag, put her things in the
backpack, adding the silver comb and brush and two cut-glass perfume bottles,
and headed for the door.
She paused and looked
at herself in the mirror. Her lips curled into a wicked grin as she admired her
emerald green eyes.
...........
Tagline: Jess accepts a haunted house challenge. Will she survive?
You've crafted a grippingly good tale that kept my attention. I love the ending, especially!
ReplyDeleteThank you for joining us again, Lenny. A gripping tale with a great ending. Perfect for The Scream!
ReplyDeleteOh-oh! That witch finally got what she always wanted - a fresh body.
ReplyDeleteI felt sorry for Jess. The excitement of taken on a dare is mostly harmful to the person who accepts it. The exchange was good for Cornelia but Jess lost her life.
ReplyDeleteShalom aleichem
Great job!!! Love the spooky atmosphere and the setting. The ending is terrific - well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Lenny - that was wonderful ... well perhaps not wonderful, but appropriately written for such a gruesome tale!! I thought the use of 'the entity' made the storyline more spooky ... Cleverly interpreted for this prompt - 'the Scream' ... and those eyes - quite glad mine are hazel brown! I wonder what happens next ... a few more tales to tell from Cornelia/Jess and from her school friends ... a spooky atmosphere and setting ... cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteOh this was fun to read! Love the ending!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful tale - the ending was unexpected - and made the story.
ReplyDeleteLove it, a good old fashioned Halloween treat and perfect for The Scream Challenge. Wonderful job, and such an excellent ending! Well done!
ReplyDeleteLoved it! You did a great job capturing my (the reader’s) attention. I think you should write the next chapter…
ReplyDeleteWonderful Halloween flash! Brilliant take on the prompt and a super ending. Thanks for an engaging, scary-fun read.
ReplyDeleteFantastic Lenny! You did an AWESOME job on this take. Great descriptions and tension...well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lenny for this chilling ghost story. Loved the concentration on eyes and the writing using sight, smell and touch. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis was a fun story with a satisfying ending. I definitely wouldn't want to spend the night in that bedroom!
ReplyDeleteWitchy, I like it! Love the ending.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cool Halloween flash! Well done with the vivid descriptions and that cracking ending.
ReplyDeleteOh, fantastic ending! Making us think she got away, then that!
ReplyDeleteTalk about possession. I bet she goes back to that house from now on. Well done.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Mwah-ha-ha... maybe the emphasis on the chestnut eyes was too obvious foreshadowing, but the fight scene was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThis was such fun to read. Finally a proper, spooky Halloween story without tragedy and despair. I love the way you built up the atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteThat was great, Lenny! Well done! The ending is especially good. It was fun to read. Keep up the good writing!
ReplyDelete